The Not So Anonymous Airplane-Ladyoholism/Alurraholism Therapy Group: REVEALED!

Drug addiction, or drug dependence, is the uncontrollable craving for a drug. Such craving may occur periodically or continuously and is usually accompanied by an overwhelming compulsion to obtain the drug. The addict becomes preoccupied with thoughts about the effects of the drug. The uncontrollable craving for a drug may be of physical origin, psychological origin, or both, and with some drugs the craving may develop in as short a time as 24 hours. In a person who is physically addicted to a drug, the body’s chemical processes are altered so that the drug becomes essential for some of the normal metabolic functions. Psychological dependence on a drug does not involve a modification of the body’s chemistry but the addicted person believes that the drug is necessary in order to function normally.

Quite recently I discovered that there can be addictions to people. I also realized I am addicted to a few things: Jimi Hendrix, food, drinks, sleep, talking of course, Princess Allura AKA Dan. Dan was the first to admit that he had a proble, though. He was the first to admit he was addicted to me. We haven’t been going through treatment - unless you count us chatting via ICQ to each other as therapy. Currently we are in the status of denial to anyone besides ourselves because we don’t want to get over our addictions. Let me tell you about Alluraholism and Airplane-Ladyoholism.

There may be few outward signs during the early stages of Alluraholism or Airplane-Ladyoholism. The victim may be able to function normally. Some personality changes may be apparent, for example, increasing conflict with family and an inability to handle stress. Another early symptom is an increase in needing to be exposed to Allura or Airplane-Lady (whichever it may be) to get the same effect a lesser amount of exposure produced in the past. In the final episodes of Alluraholism and in Airplane-Ladyoholism, the victim, while rarely deriving much (if any) pleasure or sane, clear thinking while not exposed to Allura or Airplane-Lady (whichever the addiction it may be), is unable to go for very long, happily, without exposure to Princess Allura and/or Airplane-Lady. One of the prime symptoms of Alluraholism and Airplane-Ladyoholism, and the symptom that makes these diseases so hard to treat is denial, whether that be denying the addiction or whether that be the denial that they are denying the addiction. The Alluraholic/Airplane-Ladyoholic is unlikely to admit either to (him/her/it)self or to others, that a problem with Allura/Airplane-Lady exists. A person chronically suffering from one or both of these diseases will probably attribute (Allura/Airplane-Lady) [related] problems to some other cause. Family members and friends may also deny the problem by looking the other way when silly behavior - due to their addiction, due to recent exposure or due to withdrawal symptoms - is exhibited. This denial can lead to a worsening physical and mental condition. Another major symptom exhibited by these addicted victims which is to blame for more and more addictions of this type is that fact that the victims of these addictions enjoy their addiction because the person they are addicted to is kind, funny, silly, understanding, and looks great in pink. Thus, they deny and attempt not to admit their addiction to anyone but the one person they’re addicted to.

In my not-so-anonymous Alluraholism meetings I am the founder of this A.A. Dan’s the founder of Airplane-Ladyoholism and his addiction has been around longer than mine. On Saturday, August 30th, 1997 he created his club. So far it only has one member but he is looking to expand. I have reasons to believe the populus of the members enlisted in his club will increase dramatically in the following years. As for me, my addiction came in the very early days - of which I didn’t write the specific date down to - of September of 1997. That means, probably between September 1-5th, is the good guessing range for the date of which my club was formed. Only one member is in the Alluraholics Anonymous club as of yet but hopefully the populus of members enlisted will dramatically increase in the following years.